


The Stag (Do)

by anri



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drunkenness, Inappropriate use of animagus, Marauder squad night, Marauders' Era, Other, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:18:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7547587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anri/pseuds/anri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James just proposed to Lily, and the Marauder gang got together to celebrate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stag (Do)

**Author's Note:**

> I just started reading the Harry Potter books, I watched all the films I just never got round to reading the books. My favourites are the Weasley Twins, the Marauder Squad n Oliver Wood.   
> Mostly the Marauder squad

The three of the stood outside the door, their hands in their pockets, their eyes staring intently at the door. "We should probably knock," Sirius said at last. He didn't step forward.

"What if it's bad news?" Peter asked, stepping back from the door a little. Sirius sighed,

"Well...there's only one way to find out..." he murmured, stepping up to knock on the door.

It was quiet for a moment, before they heard movement inside, and James appeared at the door.

He stared at them, and they stared back. No one said anything for a moment. "Well?" Remus said expectantly. James licked his lips, standing up straight, breathing out slowly, collecting himself. "She said YES!" he yelled, and the entire group burst into cheers. Sirius jumped in the air, embracing James so hard he could've crushed ribs. Remus clapped James on the back, congratulating him as he grinned, not quite believing it himself. Peter was somewhat detached from the cheer, but he looked just as pleased as the rest of them. He just didn't seem to know what to do with his happiness. "James," Lily came bursting into the hallway, staring at him, "Please, you're going to disturb the neighbours."

"Sorry Lily," he said, still grinning. Sirius let go of James, stepping into their home.

"Congratulations!" he yelled, and Lily couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you Sirius," she accepted, looking fondly at her fiancé. "You'll all be going out then, to celebrate I assume?"

"Well...yes, if that's alright with you," James said, putting his arm around Remus. She smiled, waving them off as they departed.

Things got a little bit hazy after they left the Potter home in hopes of celebrating his engagement. They went to one establishment, and then another. Things got even more hazy after the third. Remus was taking on the role of the responsible one in the situation, making sure James and Sirius didn't do something _too_ outlandishly ridiculous whilst they were drunk. It must have been around the fifth pub that James, having been determined to try and drink Sirius under the table, began to have trouble staying up right, let alone walking in the right direction. "Don't you think we should...get him back to Lily now?" Peter asked, watching James almost stumble over his own feet. Sirius rolled up his sleeves, "He still reckons he can beat me," he said, grabbing James by the back of his shirt, hoisting him back up into an upright position. Remus sighed, deciding not to argue against Sirius. If anything went wrong, they could always carry James back.

They made the mistake of entering yet another pub, when James' body seemed to have given up on him. In a flash of confusion and a lot of shattering glass, the table they were sat at was overturned as James flopped from his seat. When Remus worked his way around the displaced chairs and broken chairs, he was met with the sight of a stag laying on its side, legs spread. Sirius looked over Remus' shoulder, whistling. "Well that's definitely a first."

Remus rolled his eyes, "Please, just help me get him up."

It required a surprising amount of force to try and pull James up onto his spindly little legs. The stag's head was bobbing, nearly hitting his friends more than once with his antlers. They apologised profusely as they walked out, Remus fixing the table and paying before joining his friends outside. He came outside to see Peter nearly being crushed under the weight of James the wobbly stag, he shot Remus a look of utter panic, while Sirius was just laughing at the situation at hand.

It must have looked odd to any passing muggles - no, scratch that. It must have looked odd to _anyone_ walking past. The three of the walking a huge dazed stag down the street, Sirius in front, his hands in his pockets, not too sturdy on his feet either. Peter was supporting James' side, while Remus was taking up the rear, trying to make sure all four of James' legs were co-operating.

"How on earth are we going to explain this to Lily?!" Peter cried, stumbling a little bit as James began wandering over to his side. "An accident? A grave mistake on James' side?" Sirius suggested, chuckling under his breath. "Honestly, who does he think he is, trying to out-drink me?"

"Well, whatever we're going to do, I think it's best to get him back now. No more pubs," Remus said sternly. "Look, maybe we should go through the woods. We'll stick out less then."

It was bitterly cold out that day, and it was even colder when they descended into the forest. They were freezing as they tried to walk the stag back. It turned out to be more difficult than it was in the street. They'd never really seen a stag trip over tree roots until now. It was incredible.

Sirius was directing them, making sure they avoided terrain that would have for sure destroyed James in his incredibly intoxicated situation. And Remus was relying on his directions, his eyes fixed on the ground, trying to steer his friend around any trip hazards on the floor. They came to a sudden stop, James nearly losing balance altogether, Peter and Remus scrambling to try and keep him upright. "Sirius!" Remus scolded, "Why're you stopping?"

"There's a lake," Sirius said.

"Yes, well done."

"It's frozen."

"...Yes. It is frozen."

"We should put James on it."

Remus stared at him. " _Why_?"

Sirius turned around, staring at him like he'd just asked him what a werewolf was. "Because it's _funny_."

Remus bit his lip, "Well...yes. It would be."

"He can't hurt himself... anymore than he has done already, anyway. And we can't get him back home like this. He'll sober up eventually," Sirius reasoned. Remus' resolve was failing him. Sirius smiled, and Peter looked at Remus, clearly on Sirius' side. "Oh go on then."

It was surprisingly easy to slide the stag onto ice. He didn't seem to have any will of his own, and was purely relying on his friends to keep him safe.

What a fool he was.

Sirius was the one who lured James out onto the ice, and it wasn't long before the stag was slipping and sliding, his four legs flailing in all different directions. Sirius doubled over, slipping on the ice himself after James had gone down in a particularly ungraceful flail, landing on his side. Remus and Peter burst into laughter, setting themselves down on the banks, settling in to watch the show. Sirius slid over to the end, settling down next to Remus, watching James struggle helplessly. He tried getting himself up off the ice, only to fall over again. The stag settled down, sitting on the ice like he intended to be there. He stared hard at his friends, clearly becoming aware of the situation they'd put him in. "When do you think he'll get off?" Peter asked.

"We'll go get him, if he can't find his own way off," Remus said.

"...Probably," Sirius added, smiling as James attempted to stand up again. Due to the huge level of alcohol he'd consumed in the last few hours, it wasn't long before Sirius dropped off to sleep, his head dropped onto Remus' shoulder, as they sat on the bank.

He woke up some time later, stiff, cold and slightly more sober. Remus and Peter were still staring out at the lake. James was clearly now approaching this problem with new tactics. His chest and front two legs were flat on the ground, his rear end in the air, back legs sliding him forward on the ice. "How long has he been going?"

"A good...couple of hours now," Remus answered. "It's sort of mesmerising."

"Such an intelligent man...reduced to bum-shuffling across a frozen lake," Sirius muttered.

Peter watched his two friends nervously. "Do you think we should...y'know, help him out?"

"He'll figure it out, Wormtail. He's resourceful."

Remus shook his head in disbelief, as he watched the stag fall again. "Good luck, Lily. She'll need it."


End file.
